Two Coaches

"Success on any major scale requires you to accept responsibility . . . . In the final analysis, the one quality that all successful people have is the ability to take on responsibility."

— Michael Korda
Editor-in-Chief, Simon & Schuster

I love football (and of course, basketball). I love it when a team plays entertaining football and of course, winning always leaves you with a cool feeling when it’s your team.

Coaches are certainly an important part of the game that we do not see so much of during the game like the players; except of course those that gymnastically gesticulate with as much vigor as the boys kicking the ball around. But because pressmen know how much a coach matters to the team they always try to get their opinion after each game. And many times, before the game.

I have listened to a number of post-game comments and I can classify what most coaches have to say after a defeat into two groups: One of them generally goes “…the boys refused to play according to instructions… and what you saw today is what happens when that occurs”. And the other, “we had a very bad day here today, we just couldn’t get ourselves right... we will go back to the drawing board and…”

The former coach is clearly letting us know that he knows his job and did it but the players were just stupid! The latter coach is saying we know our job but we didn’t seem to have done it well! The former coach is simply showing he is so good that all fingers should be pointed to the players while the latter is saying if anyone must die, kill me first.

No single raindrop believes it is responsible for the flood.

Many a time, we all behave like the blame-shifting coach who wants to appear to have perfectly played his role. “I am the coach and not the player.” We don’t want a share of the blame, “it was him- he completely jeopardized the team’s effort.” Worse still, we point fingers at our subordinates- those we are supposed to be leading. How silly!

When a leader shifts the blame to the follower he is simply saying “I’m not truly the leader, someone else is!” The coach that claims publicly his players didn’t play according to instruction is simply saying “I have no control over those boys; I ask them to do A, but they do B- I’m not in charge. I’m just a figure head!”

Leaders do not come out shifting the blame to their subordinates; they take responsibility for whatever happened. They accept the blame on behalf of the team even if they had played their role pretty well. Great leaders know this: the team wins together and losses together. When the coach says “we had a bad day”, he means “I led them and I led them wrong, I am the leader and I am at fault.” Great teams go directly at one another inside; but outside, they are a team.

I remember making a big blunder during my last full time job; I mean a big blunder. I played into the hands of a General Manager who was three positions (about 5-10 years work experience) above my direct boss. While the last I heard about that was when the General Manager made me realize I messed up, I know my boss had taken most and all of the heat. He may have even been tongue-lashed in the next management meeting for negligence but he kept all that away from me- maybe because he knew I realized the gravity of what I did. I respect you, Habila Amos!

The cool thing about the coaches that accept/share the blame for/with their team is that when it’s praise time they shower it –almost completely– on the team. When they are interviewed after a victory you hear things like “we all did our homework pretty well, the boys gave their all…” But our dear blame-shifter has just one same phrase too, however, in the opposite direction this time- “the boys strictly followed instruction and you can see the result for yourself.” Huh, infallible ultimate warrior!

Whenever we did great jobs for Habila that precipitated commendations from his bosses, we would always get the commendation forwarded to us and he tells you, “you did it, it’s your job.” Even in meetings he would not cease to sing your praise; men, that was an incentive to work harder! But he is never going to vilify you openly when you do wrong- that’s a private business.

So evaluate the kind of leader you have been? Are you taking responsibility or are you always denouncing your leadership when things go wrong? What kind of leader do you want to be? Is it the coach that points his finger outward when it’s bad and inward when it’s great? Or is it the coach that shares both the good and bad?

Yahoo! I just saw some grate examples of how we all play these coaches in Blame Shifter: Spineless Cousins of Shapelifters (http://www.selfhelpdaily.com/blame-shifting-blame-shifters/):

·         They spill a drink down the front of their top…. the server filled it too dang high!

·         They can’t afford something they’d like to have…. Obama! Bush! War! Wife!

·         A bad day at the office means that their co-workers are “losers” and the boss is a “jerk.”

·         A college exam didn’t go as well as hoped for…. stupid test!

·         Someone’s weight is out of control… it’s everyone’s fault except the one with the fork in their hand.

·         Their kids misbehave and/or talk back….  it’s all thanks to the school system, television, and the music they listen to.

Attraction is a response!

Living at the McLaughlin Reserve for over two months so far has brought me across some botanists and ecologists. Interesting enough, a lot of them are interested in plant-pollinator relationships. This is such an interesting topic because the relationship is so mutual one might not survive without the other.

One of the things I've learnt from them is while some plants are capable of self-propagation; the bulk of plants will only reproduce through cross-pollination. Besides, cross pollination increases genetic variation, and thus, survival.

In order to ensure cross-pollination, birds and insects (pollinators) are of utmost importance to plants, which would otherwise pay any amount to develop muscular limbs to be able to throw and catch pollen grains themselves. And to ensure the pollinators come around, the plants cook very tasty meals which the pollinators cannot resist- nectar. While having delicious nectary meals, the pollinators carry pollen grains from one plant to another- exactly what the plants need.

Different plants use different recipes for their nectar preparation hence it differs from one plant to another. The nature of the nectar determines what pollinator comes around. That is the power of choice the plants have- they choose who they want around by what they produce. That is the same power of choice you have- you choose whom you want around you by what you produce. People rarely just want to be your friend for no reason; they want to be your friend because they see in you what/who they want.

Like we all know, every lady had an idea the kind of guy she wants; just any guy wouldn't do. A guy also has an idea of the specifications he wants in his girl and he will do everything to get the one that meets them most. Equilibrium is when demand meets supply. Lol!

The kind of nectar you exhume determines the type of pollinators you attract! So just in case you are wondering why on earth you are surrounded by the kind of people that surround you, stop wondering; check inwards. And if you don't want the kind of people surrounding you, don't run away or chase them away, just change you. Attraction is not a choice, it is a response.

Ponder on This...

Dear All,

Trust today is going well!

The accompanying piece was sent in by a close friend (Adeyemi Adeleye)
and these ideas are really thought-provoking and inspiring.

Reminds me of a popular commercial that rode the airwaves last  year
and the year before it in Nigeria…

Ponder on them!

A baby is not thrown away for falling several times while starting to
walk. But learning is in fact, not limited to childhood: While many of
us learned to drive as early-privileged teenagers or late-privileged
adults, we definitely sucked so badly at first. We may have even
recorded near-fatal accidents all the name of learning to drive… So
why did you not just stop learning since it might kill?

Who ever thought humans can move at 65mph without going unconscious or
our blood freezing up with fright. In fact, speed breakers and speed
limits are today used to slow man down even though he was once
imagined not to be able to move fast at all. Who ever thought humans
could compete with the eagles in the air and beat the ‘natural kings
of the air’ to traveling speed and distance, despising gravity? Today
humans can eat breakfast, lunch and dinner in three different
continents if they so wish. Does the impossible really exist?

Like Walt Disney says: "It's kind of fun to do the impossible."

Let’s wrap it up:
That you sucked at starting it does not mean it is not meant for you.
It does not mean you cannot.
That men said it is impossible does not make it a no-go area.
Be like the bumble-bee, which totally ignorant of the laws of
thermodynamics, does not know its wings are too small to lift its body
size. In its ignorance it flaps its little wings like other well-built
insects and it does fly.
Be ignorant to the laws and principles that say ‘it is impossible’.
Set your targets, go for them… impossible does not exist.

For me, Impossible really is like the dinosaurs of the ages
past...perhaps only comfortable in our history and archives.

Step out of the hold of “Impossibility” and take charge of your
life...Steer your life to fulfillment!

(Culled from Ponder on This)