Attitude

Author, James Adonis

In the magnificent musical My Fair Lady, Eliza Doolittle is a poor girl with a ghastly accent and a terrible grasp of the English language who sells flowers on the streets for a living.  She meets Henry Higgins, a professor of phonetics, who makes a bet with a man named Colonel Pickering that he can turn the rough Eliza into a high-society lady of proper behavior.

During the next six months, Professor Higgins tries to teach Eliza how to speak and how to act – but his teaching style is abrasive.  He yells and insults her, calling her “infantile”, “brainless”, “wretched” and a “presumptuous insect”.  In contrast, Colonel Pickering, who’s present during the lessons, treats Eliza with kindness and compassion, with politeness and respect.  He expects the best irrespective of her background.

Eventually, Eliza nails it.  She becomes a lady admired by all, including the king and queen.  Of course, Professor Higgins takes the credit for the transformation.  But, as Eliza explains, the credit actually belongs to Colonel Pickering:

“The difference between a lady and a flower girl is not how she behaves but how she's treated.  I shall always be a flower girl to Professor Higgins because he always treats me as a flower girl, and always will.  But I know I shall always be a lady to Colonel Pickering because he always treats me as a lady, and always will.”

That story is a famous example of The Pygmalion Effect, which means people’s attitudes are often influenced by what their leader or teacher expects.  If a leader or teacher truly believes that every employee and student can be brilliant, then empirical research demonstrates that chances of behavioural change are substantially higher.

This research, pioneered by Dr Robert Rosenthal (a social scientist), revealed four key elements of The Pygmalion Effect, all of which are evident in the workplace.

Climate:   This represents mood.  If you’re like Professor Higgins, you’ll avoid eye contact, rarely smile or nod, and use condescending phrases.  But if you’re like Colonel Pickering, you’ll be genuinely focused, using positive words and open body language.

Input:   This represents information.  If you’re like Professor Higgins, you’ll share minimal knowledge to those you deem no-hopers and plenty to those you favour.  But if you’re like Colonel Pickering, everyone benefits from your teaching, clear instructions, and resources.

Output:   This represents responsiveness.  If you’re like Professor Higgins, you’ll provide opportunities only to those you admire.  But if you’re like Colonel Pickering, all employees have a chance to ask questions, to get involved, and to express what they think and feel.

Feedback:   This represents quantity and quality.  If you’re like Professor Higgins, you sparingly give praise unless it’s to someone you already respect.  But if you’re like Colonel Pickering, everyone is entitled to detailed feedback with fair amounts of praise and criticism.

You undoubtedly have expectations of the people in your team.  Those expectations subconsciously influence how you interact with them, and these interactions subsequently impact your employees’ behaviour and performance.  That’s why it’s so common for an employee’s attitude to be affected more by a leader’s attitude than anything else.

Welcome 2011

Slept and woke up 365 mornings; thank You
Hung(er) and had enough to eat at least 1095 times; thank You
Had my heart beat about 38 million times without getting weary; thank You
Had a pillow below my head and a roof over it; thank You

Headache's time eventually elapsed; thank You
Sored throat lingered and then smothered, thank You
Abdominal upsets raged but never forever; thank You
Every bodily pain was a sign of living; thank You

For payers answered; thank You
For whisperes that seemed to have gone unattended; thank You
For 2010 gone; thank You
For 2011 here; thank You LORD.

Nigeria @ 50: What Are We Celebrating?

I have attended several birthdays that the celebrant could not -if asked to- point fingers at a single achievement his entire life. But we all go ahead and bring cards and other gifts, cut and eat the cake with him and felicitate for a couple of hours. No one cares to ask, "So celebrant, what have you achieved in the last 30 years of your life that today is worth celebrating?" Haha, test yourself too, what was worth celebrating about your last birthday? It's not the case for everybody though...

But for those who really cannot point at a thing, all we are doing is celebrating their lives because we know in certainty that if there is still life there is still hope. Though the person might be a zero today he might be a hero tomorrow. I think it's worth it to celebrate the existence of Nigeria till today. Yes there is still poverty. Yes we still don't have basic amenities. Yes there has been a backward trend. Yes there is hostility and civil unrest. Yes a bomb blasted, killed and maimed people. Yes, it is one of the most corrupt countries in the  world... Nigeria is still alive and if people like you and I will contribute our quota, we will have the Nigeria of our dream. Someday.

Nigeria has not been ruling herself. It has been ruled by humans, our brothers. Your fathers and mine are the ones who made a mess of it. We celebrate those who misruled the country yet we don't see any sense in celebrating the resilience of the victim of tyranny. We should celebrate Nigeria and call the bluff of the corrupt leaders.

Nigeria has given us a place to call home. Nigeria has given us an identity. Nigeria has given us shelters oblivious of major natural disasters. Nigeria is rich in resources. Nigerians are poor but we are still one of the happiest people on earth. Nigeria has a future. Absolutely fantastic.

Happy anniversary Nigeria. Rejoice Nigerians...

Adeyemi Adeleye

Two Coaches

"Success on any major scale requires you to accept responsibility . . . . In the final analysis, the one quality that all successful people have is the ability to take on responsibility."

— Michael Korda
Editor-in-Chief, Simon & Schuster

I love football (and of course, basketball). I love it when a team plays entertaining football and of course, winning always leaves you with a cool feeling when it’s your team.

Coaches are certainly an important part of the game that we do not see so much of during the game like the players; except of course those that gymnastically gesticulate with as much vigor as the boys kicking the ball around. But because pressmen know how much a coach matters to the team they always try to get their opinion after each game. And many times, before the game.

I have listened to a number of post-game comments and I can classify what most coaches have to say after a defeat into two groups: One of them generally goes “…the boys refused to play according to instructions… and what you saw today is what happens when that occurs”. And the other, “we had a very bad day here today, we just couldn’t get ourselves right... we will go back to the drawing board and…”

The former coach is clearly letting us know that he knows his job and did it but the players were just stupid! The latter coach is saying we know our job but we didn’t seem to have done it well! The former coach is simply showing he is so good that all fingers should be pointed to the players while the latter is saying if anyone must die, kill me first.

No single raindrop believes it is responsible for the flood.

Many a time, we all behave like the blame-shifting coach who wants to appear to have perfectly played his role. “I am the coach and not the player.” We don’t want a share of the blame, “it was him- he completely jeopardized the team’s effort.” Worse still, we point fingers at our subordinates- those we are supposed to be leading. How silly!

When a leader shifts the blame to the follower he is simply saying “I’m not truly the leader, someone else is!” The coach that claims publicly his players didn’t play according to instruction is simply saying “I have no control over those boys; I ask them to do A, but they do B- I’m not in charge. I’m just a figure head!”

Leaders do not come out shifting the blame to their subordinates; they take responsibility for whatever happened. They accept the blame on behalf of the team even if they had played their role pretty well. Great leaders know this: the team wins together and losses together. When the coach says “we had a bad day”, he means “I led them and I led them wrong, I am the leader and I am at fault.” Great teams go directly at one another inside; but outside, they are a team.

I remember making a big blunder during my last full time job; I mean a big blunder. I played into the hands of a General Manager who was three positions (about 5-10 years work experience) above my direct boss. While the last I heard about that was when the General Manager made me realize I messed up, I know my boss had taken most and all of the heat. He may have even been tongue-lashed in the next management meeting for negligence but he kept all that away from me- maybe because he knew I realized the gravity of what I did. I respect you, Habila Amos!

The cool thing about the coaches that accept/share the blame for/with their team is that when it’s praise time they shower it –almost completely– on the team. When they are interviewed after a victory you hear things like “we all did our homework pretty well, the boys gave their all…” But our dear blame-shifter has just one same phrase too, however, in the opposite direction this time- “the boys strictly followed instruction and you can see the result for yourself.” Huh, infallible ultimate warrior!

Whenever we did great jobs for Habila that precipitated commendations from his bosses, we would always get the commendation forwarded to us and he tells you, “you did it, it’s your job.” Even in meetings he would not cease to sing your praise; men, that was an incentive to work harder! But he is never going to vilify you openly when you do wrong- that’s a private business.

So evaluate the kind of leader you have been? Are you taking responsibility or are you always denouncing your leadership when things go wrong? What kind of leader do you want to be? Is it the coach that points his finger outward when it’s bad and inward when it’s great? Or is it the coach that shares both the good and bad?

Yahoo! I just saw some grate examples of how we all play these coaches in Blame Shifter: Spineless Cousins of Shapelifters (http://www.selfhelpdaily.com/blame-shifting-blame-shifters/):

·         They spill a drink down the front of their top…. the server filled it too dang high!

·         They can’t afford something they’d like to have…. Obama! Bush! War! Wife!

·         A bad day at the office means that their co-workers are “losers” and the boss is a “jerk.”

·         A college exam didn’t go as well as hoped for…. stupid test!

·         Someone’s weight is out of control… it’s everyone’s fault except the one with the fork in their hand.

·         Their kids misbehave and/or talk back….  it’s all thanks to the school system, television, and the music they listen to.

Attraction is a response!

Living at the McLaughlin Reserve for over two months so far has brought me across some botanists and ecologists. Interesting enough, a lot of them are interested in plant-pollinator relationships. This is such an interesting topic because the relationship is so mutual one might not survive without the other.

One of the things I've learnt from them is while some plants are capable of self-propagation; the bulk of plants will only reproduce through cross-pollination. Besides, cross pollination increases genetic variation, and thus, survival.

In order to ensure cross-pollination, birds and insects (pollinators) are of utmost importance to plants, which would otherwise pay any amount to develop muscular limbs to be able to throw and catch pollen grains themselves. And to ensure the pollinators come around, the plants cook very tasty meals which the pollinators cannot resist- nectar. While having delicious nectary meals, the pollinators carry pollen grains from one plant to another- exactly what the plants need.

Different plants use different recipes for their nectar preparation hence it differs from one plant to another. The nature of the nectar determines what pollinator comes around. That is the power of choice the plants have- they choose who they want around by what they produce. That is the same power of choice you have- you choose whom you want around you by what you produce. People rarely just want to be your friend for no reason; they want to be your friend because they see in you what/who they want.

Like we all know, every lady had an idea the kind of guy she wants; just any guy wouldn't do. A guy also has an idea of the specifications he wants in his girl and he will do everything to get the one that meets them most. Equilibrium is when demand meets supply. Lol!

The kind of nectar you exhume determines the type of pollinators you attract! So just in case you are wondering why on earth you are surrounded by the kind of people that surround you, stop wondering; check inwards. And if you don't want the kind of people surrounding you, don't run away or chase them away, just change you. Attraction is not a choice, it is a response.

Ponder on This...

Dear All,

Trust today is going well!

The accompanying piece was sent in by a close friend (Adeyemi Adeleye)
and these ideas are really thought-provoking and inspiring.

Reminds me of a popular commercial that rode the airwaves last  year
and the year before it in Nigeria…

Ponder on them!

A baby is not thrown away for falling several times while starting to
walk. But learning is in fact, not limited to childhood: While many of
us learned to drive as early-privileged teenagers or late-privileged
adults, we definitely sucked so badly at first. We may have even
recorded near-fatal accidents all the name of learning to drive… So
why did you not just stop learning since it might kill?

Who ever thought humans can move at 65mph without going unconscious or
our blood freezing up with fright. In fact, speed breakers and speed
limits are today used to slow man down even though he was once
imagined not to be able to move fast at all. Who ever thought humans
could compete with the eagles in the air and beat the ‘natural kings
of the air’ to traveling speed and distance, despising gravity? Today
humans can eat breakfast, lunch and dinner in three different
continents if they so wish. Does the impossible really exist?

Like Walt Disney says: "It's kind of fun to do the impossible."

Let’s wrap it up:
That you sucked at starting it does not mean it is not meant for you.
It does not mean you cannot.
That men said it is impossible does not make it a no-go area.
Be like the bumble-bee, which totally ignorant of the laws of
thermodynamics, does not know its wings are too small to lift its body
size. In its ignorance it flaps its little wings like other well-built
insects and it does fly.
Be ignorant to the laws and principles that say ‘it is impossible’.
Set your targets, go for them… impossible does not exist.

For me, Impossible really is like the dinosaurs of the ages
past...perhaps only comfortable in our history and archives.

Step out of the hold of “Impossibility” and take charge of your
life...Steer your life to fulfillment!

(Culled from Ponder on This)

ExamTension!

“5 + 5 = 20” is not the type of mistake you expect from a graduate student who spent about a year learning pre-primary school Arithmetic, six years learning primary school-level Arithmetic, another six years learning secondary school Mathematics and having an A in WASSCE O-level, and an excellent year of university Mathematics, including Calculus. But such happens under examination conditions even though that is the time it just should not happen; not at all! I laughed at myself for days when I got a mid-term script and I had written that two fives will add up to twenty. I guess the other option would be to be mad at myself and for missing the answer but it is not the kind of question I cannot miss even if I just woke up from a nightmare. But I did.

We were (I think) to determine the total amount of nitrogen ions (or something) present in a water body pollutes by several species of nitrogen. My interpretation was spot on. The stoichiometry was without blemish. I had determined all the N-equivalent of all the species and just when I was to do the easiest part of the answering, my hand decided to be independent of my brain.

I’d let it go until today again something similar repeated itself: I have just missed a question in a driving test because in my mind the question had “…younger…”, but it was actually “…older…” I was expecting to miss one or two questions in all, but not the first question that I knew well like the back of my hand- asking about the BAC limit for drivers older than 21. I quickly checked the “accurate answer” but what I checked was an answer to what I thought the question was: BAC limit for drivers younger than 21. I missed no other question but that and it struck me how easy it is for us to fail exams and perform below our potential.

In both cases I will identify ‘exam tension’ as the chief suspect. That is what makes your hand shake uncontrollably when you hear “start”. That is what turns your pant to your handkerchief because you just cannot stop sweating even on this cold day. That is what pushes many people to start tilting their necks to a minimum of ninety degrees either way because it makes them even forget what they know. That is what makes you hold your pen like you are just learning how to write and all the sweat pores in your fingers just woke up from their long-time sleep. Exam tension does not only shake the hand, it also shakes the mind and you start to write, at times, the opposite of what you meant. Or the question suddenly looks twisted and there is no answer in the objectives. Perhaps, like me, you start to see something else other than what was asked and you are brilliantly answering the questions in the wrong way. Worse still, it could temporarily disconnect from your brain sockets the nerves that join your hand to your brain and connect it to your heart instead (which is beating like 500 times in a minute!)

It probably does not affect some people so badly; they just make one or two mistakes here and there and that’s it. But if you think of the fact that the difference between one grade and the next is usually a mark you would understand how important just one mistake could be. I guess I've not been badly hit thus far but it has nonetheless created a gap between my potential and my performance. And before the gap gets wider than it is already I’m going to have to plug it up! I know it affects you too every once in a while but here comes help. Yahoo!

But, I'm I in the right position to advise a victim of what I'm suffering from myself? Can I tell you how to overcome exam tension when I just fell a victim a couple of hours ago? I will assume I'm talking to myself henceforth… Adeyemi, you have to stop fidgeting in the exam hall so you stop missing questions cheaply. I will prescribe the following medicines and watch how you do in the next couple of days:

·         Study well. Study well and cover all you need to cover to increase your confidence in the exam hall. One of the major promoters of tension is lack of confidence- full confidence that you are ready for this;

·         Take it easy! You remember what you did that exam that your hand just couldn’t stop shaking? Stop writing! Drop your pen! Sit back, relax and chant some TONGUES! Ha!

·         Don’t be in a rush to finish so you can read questions and write answers carefully. But if it’s a time-constrained exam and you have to rush; rush. But ensure you spend some time going through your answers again before submitting it. When going through assume you were wrong all this while, so be on the lookout for things to correct;

·         Alright people, that’s all I know and I still need more advice from you guys. Please help so I don’t repeat this mistake again. Thanks.

·         (your comment) __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Try Ignorance

Imagine how many people were killed!

There was this case in Kenyatta National Hospital Intensive Care ward
where patients always died in the same bed on Sunday morning at 11am,
regardless of their medical condition.

This puzzled the doctors and some even thought that it had something
to do with the supernatural no one could solve the mystery.... as to
Why the death at 11.00AM.

So a world-wide expert team was constituted and they decided to go
down to the ward to investigate the cause of the incidents. So on the
next Sunday morning few minutes before 11am, all doctors and nurses
nervously wait outside the ward to see for themselves what the
terrible phenomenon was all about.

Some were holding wooden crosses, prayer, books and their
Objects to ward off the evil.....Just when the clock struck
11......Guess what happened...... Mukhobero Wepukhulu, the part-time
Sunday sweeper entered the ward and unplugged the life support system
so that he could use the socket for the vacuum cleaner.

If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.

JUN2710 Lawmakers pay

JUN2710 Lawmakers pay

PRODIGY OR CLONE?

You walk like me. You talk like me. You dress like me. You even laugh like me. You still are not me. The best all those can make you is ‘like me’, not me. The best they will make you is a near copy or perhaps, a carbon copy. I am still me, you are still you.

Those are some ranting from my annoyed mind. I’m pissed at those who have turned their mentors to their molding block, their creator. They have moved from prodigy to clones; ah! We knew them as A but after a while of mentorship under B, they are now more of B than A. But mentor B should help you to become a better A, not a worse B!

Receiving mentorship is a powerful tool to being guided to the kind and aspect of greatness one desires. We all need mentors, we all should be mentored. But mentors are like teachers, they only should pass some things across, not all things, including how they use the bathroom. Copying how your mentor talks, is groomed, walks, or dresses does not increase the mentorship; neither does it increase the essentials you derive from him. It only tells us you are not very sure of exactly what you want of or from him.

All these physical efforts take your mind off exactly what you should be focusing on into the art of looking like him. Mentors add to making us, they don’t make us. Mentors help us become better us, not a worse them.

Catch his character, not his characteristics. Know why he talks, not how he talks. Understand why he laughs, not how he laughs. What he wears is less important than why he wears it. Learn his skills, not his swags. Learn his discipline, not his gesticulation. Learn his attitude, not his magnitude. Learn his perspiration, not his articulation. Know the ‘why’ and the ‘how’ will be an easy task.

A Hypothetical Paper to the Special Adviser...

From: Adeyemi Adeleye

To: Special Adviser on Power and Energy

Subject: Natural gas: From GHG to Power Generation

Date: May 20, 2010

Dear Special Adviser,

Natural gas occurs together with crude oil in most Nigerian oil reserves. Oil and Gas Journal (OGJ) estimates that Nigeria had 184 trillion cubic feet (Tcf) of proven natural gas reserves as of January 2009 which could total 300 trillion cubic feet, making Nigeria the seventh largest natural gas reserve holder in the world and the largest in Africa. Nigeria faces a number of difficulties in harnessing its abundant gas reserves mainly because it lacks the necessary infrastructure. When most of its oil facilities were built in the 1960s and 1970s, at a time when gas was not a popular energy source in the world, little thought was given to gas collection facilities. Because many of Nigeria’s oil fields lack the infrastructure to produce and market associated natural gas, it is often flared. According to the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA), Nigeria flared 593 Bcf of natural gas in 2007, which, according to Nigerian National Petroleum Corporation, cost the country US$ 1.46 billion in lost revenue. Every day in southern Nigeria, almost 2 million cubic feet of natural gas is burnt during crude oil production, more than is flared anywhere else in the world and according to the World Bank, gas flared in Nigeria is equivalent to total annual power generation in sub-Saharan Africa. Gas flaring not only wastes a valuable resource for the past 40 years, but is also a major cause of environmental pollution in the Niger River Delta, where most of Nigeria's oil output is produced. There is growing anger among local inhabitants at the damage caused to their health and ecosystem by oil production activities, especially gas flaring and crude oil spillage. Moreover, flaring is a global source of greenhouse gas emissions, contributing immensely to global warming. The World Bank estimates that gas flaring in the Niger Delta releases some 35 million tonnes of carbon dioxide. If pursued vigorously via international bilateral agreements, this massive gas flaring in Nigeria can qualify the country to participate in the Clean Development Mechanism (CDM) with one of the European Union Greenhouse Gas Emission Trading System (EU ETS) countries, while financial and technical assistance can be received in exchange for utilizing this large-scale resource, especially in the generation of cleaner power which the country is in dire need of.

At present only 10% of rural households and 40% of the country’s total population have access to electricity from the national grid. And in the urban and semi-urban areas, three out of every five household relies on electric generators for powering their homes and businesses. This has continually led to an upsurge in the use of gasoline and diesel engines which are also major sources of VOCs, carbon monoxide and of global concern, carbon dioxide. Nigeria has 5900 MW of installed generating capacity; however, the country is only able to generate 1600 MW because most facilities have been poorly maintained and more importantly, old. Since the current government has a plan to increase access to electricity throughout the country to 85% by 2020, it will be necessary to consider the most cost-effective and least impactful way to go about it.

The contribution of Nigeria to global warming through petroleum exploration and use by industry, automobiles, electricity generation (both local and industrial) and gas flare definitely makes the country one of the highest carbon contributor in Africa. If the country thus decides to participate in a global carbon cap-and-trade scheme it will be given a considerably high cap based on historical emission. But since the country may not be technically ready for that right now, the CDM option could be pursued as it is a gain to the country on all sides- mitigation, power and revenue. The worst case scenario might be for the government to seek foreign investment for the natural gas capture and power generation. This will be a good policy approach to mitigate the nation’s emission which is increasing on an annual basis, reduce wastage from flaring, and increase power generation, albeit, cleaner power compared to coal and fuel-powered plants present today. In a national energy demand projection simulated that for 13% GDP growth rate by 2030, the demand projections rose from 5,746MW in the base year of 2005 to 297,900MW in the year 2030 which translates to construction of 11,686MW every year to meet the demand. The corresponding cumulative invest­ment (investment & operations) cost for the 25-year period is US$ 484.62 billion, which means investing US$ 80.77 billion every five years within the period. Financial returns from the CDM and export of power and natural gas can definitely surpass this estimated cost. The expected life-span for the nation’s natural gas is about 88 years, which gives the country ample time to develop much cleaner alternative energy on a national scale while completely phasing out fossil fuel power production.

Thank you.

Adeyemi Adeleye

Adieu

It came, quietly

It slipped, gradually

It goes, finally

Adieu 2009

Tons of goals, unachieved

Lots of missions, unaccomplished

Many a promises, unfulfiled

Adieu 2009

Lots of prayers, more than answered

Lots of health, better than ever

Lots of love, more than more

Adieu 2009

With thanks and praises, we bid you bye

For life and love, with peace and joy

With hopes and dreams, for years to come

Adieu 2009.

CHAPTER TWO- The Dullard Mentality

I once heard the story of an eagle that laid its egg among those of a hen. The hen incubated the eagle's egg alongside hers till they all hatched. The eaglet grew among chicks, ate what they ate, went where they went, spoke the way they spoke, grew as they grew, and did what they did. Each day it looks up and thinks aloud, “I wish I could fly like those strong eagles up there.” But it never knew it could fly - it had the mind of a fowl. That unfortunate eaglet had the body and ability of an eagle but it had the mind of a fowl. A chronic disease, called 'Fowl Mentality', struck it.

This generic disease once ravaged the Israelites at the point of their entrance to Canaan and it was medically described then as 'Grasshopper Mentality'. This epidemic, which has despised every attempt by mankind to nip it in the bud, is today known as the 'Dullard mentality'.
Oh, it sounds strange right? But it is more of a syndrome. Do you like to know the symptoms the patients usually complain? “I'm not smart”. “I'm a dullard”. “I'm an average student.” “I’m a C-student.”

Now you know what the sickness is all about right? But I know someone wants to argue that it is not a sickness after all, it is only normal and it is good to be real. Anyway, one of the definitions a dictionary gave to the word sick is 'mentally affected or weak.' This, at least, buttresses my submission that people suffering from 'Dullard Mentality' are as sick as those in the various health institutions.

That eaglet I talked about was mentally sick. It had everything required to fly except the knowledge that it could, and it never did despite its daily wish to soar. So also have some people unfortunately relegated themselves to the base line of the intelligence pyramid. Although they have the ability of an eagle, they are plagued by their mindset of a fowl. They have everything required to fly except the knowledge that they can, and they never will until they are convinced they can.

There is the general notion that humans don't generally have the same intelligence capacity: While some are said to be geniuses, some excellent, then those that are good, then the average (better put, mediocre) and then the unfortunate dullards. A big question to be answered here is, 'is there any adequate, consistent and all encompassing basis for this classification?'

Culled from 'The Academic god'

The Wise King

In a far away land, there was a beautiful kingdom with a unique rule, which said, "Anyone may become the king, and he will be given all rights to govern the country for 5 years. But after the 5 years, he will be detained, his body will be tied, and he will be thrown away to a remote island, [where the jungle is thick and there are plenty of wild animals and no humans.

The first who came forward said, "OK, I am ready to be the king. And he was a king for 5 years, and enjoyed his position. He threw big parties, went to many beautiful places, married many women, collected many luxurious things and did whatever pleased him.

This went on till one day he woke up, to find soldiers in his palace who said, "We came here under the order of constitution. You were a king for 5 years, and now the time has come when we should seize you and take you to the remote island.

The king knew that this time would come, but had not realized how quickly the time had passed. He had enjoyed himself in the past 5 years but now he had to leave everything, and would be thrown in the very dangerous island. He was very scared but could do nothing and had to accept his destiny with tears in his eyes. The soldiers put the dethroned king in jungle and did not care about what would happen to him. All they heard were the voices of wild animals and the long scream of the former king. And then silence again.

Back in the kingdom, the constitution was still effective. And now, there was a 2nd king. He too behaved like the 1st king, enjoying an extravagant life, and was faced with the same fate, till the voice of wild animals mixed with his scream was heard after he was thrown in the island. This went on for a long time, with each person becoming King, and following their predecessors. Laugh in the beginning, and cry in the end.

One day, a young man came and declared his wish to be a King. By constitution he was granted his wish. He would be a king for 5 years before being thrown away to the island. But he being wise realized that his time was short, and all luxuries and power would come to an end.

So after much thinking, he decided that he will use all of his power, resources, time etc, to prepare his life at the remote island. In the 1st year he sent troops, veterinarians, and animal trainers to the dangerous island. The mission was to control the population of wild animals there or domesticate them for good use.

Well the mission was so huge that it consumed a lot of the country's resources. But it was the king's decision and he had the power. So, all resources that had been used by previous kings to have fun, now was used by the new king in this strange mission. He really dedicated all of his energy to the mission which became successful.

In the 2nd year, he sent a lot of farmers to the island to start agriculture there. In the 3rd year, he made a lot of facilities on the island - from electricity to a hospital. In the 4th year, he sent a lot of educated people like engineers, accountants, and many others to the island. In the 5th year, he sent his friends and his relatives to the island. And finally the time came when the king had to be thrown away to the island. In the morning of the big day, the king smiled his widest smile ever in 5 years. When many strong soldiers caught and roped him, his smile grew wider. And finally he laughed a great laugh when the soldiers threw him to the island.

Now, why wouldn't he laugh? While the previous kings found a thick jungle and many wild animals when they were thrown there, the last king found everything he needed for a comfortable and happy life with his dear ones.

So many people are tricked by their life in employment/the world. All they do in this is have fun, and forget that the time will come when they will face a very different situation. No amount of regrets and pleading can change the situation then.

But the wise, people ensure adequate provisions for their life in retirement, just like the wise king. These people will face the future with a smile, because a pleasant life is awaiting them.

HARD WORK vs. DILIGENCE 2

As I defined in The Academic god, hard work simply means working hard; while diligence is working hard in the right direction. The major difference between the two ‘synonyms’ is the direction factor which hard work might lack.
Every student goes to class. Most students have class notes. Several students have textbooks and other relevant materials for their courses. Many students go to tutorials. Most students have photocopies of past questions (PQ). No student never reads at all throughout the semester. All students prepare for their exams one way or the other. All students go to the examination hall hoping to do well, somehow. All students hope to see a nice pass when the results are released. But not all students pass, several fail. So the question is why do all students sow but not all reap?
It is simply because most students are hard working, and only a few are diligent.
Diligence is sensible perspiration. It is optimum dissipation of energy with cerebral application. Diligence is working smart; hard work is working hard. That is why the results are never a true reflection of who worked hardest! The As are not given to those who read most; the Fs are not given to those who read least.

Round 1- Direction
The first thing that differentiates a diligent student from a hard working one is vision. Vision serves as a guide to those who have it, bringing about a sense of direction. Hard working students concentrate more on their ability than how they apply their ability. They put in all their energy, particularly aiming at nothing; and that is what they get at the end of the day. But when a hard working student adds to his hard work, vision, he shoots high to the sky.


I was once so upset with a classmate when I found out she really never had clearly defined goals. My sermon on this fell on deaf ears. Pity, she said it was like counting one’s chick before they hatch. It pained me particularly because I knew how much she was putting into her academics. We read in the place in the nights in part 3 and she never closed her books before me. I understand she was using me as a source of inspiration on the stage, but she refused to do what I was doing back stage. She would stay in the colds of the night, reading hard, but aiming at nothing. To say the least, her hard work did not improve her performance considerably as much as it would have if she had a target.
It is so good to have academically better students as your mentors. But what you have to learn from them transcends where they read, how long they read, when they read, how they read and all worth not. What you need to know are the fundamental principles they use which you would adopt to suit your personality and nature. Success is personal, same pattern might not work for you! That is why you are a protégé, not a clone.

Round 2- Individuality
Deji Omitogun graduated from Obafemi Awolowo University with a First Class in Management & Accounting. He was also a chartered accountant well before he graduated. But while we were roommates in Part 1, Deji was consistently in bed by 10.00pm, when I was probably just getting ready to go and do my study till the early hours of the next day.
Diligence is defining yourself and working the best way that suits you. “Suits you” does not necessarily mean convenience; it means the best way you work by nature. Thomas Edison could work on for days taking only occasional naps on his office sofa but Albert Einstein would work best after nine solid hours of sleep. A diligent student works most when he works best. He has taken time to discover his best time to read, his best place to read, his best way to read and he sticks to it. A diligent student is not found amidst an ‘undefined’ crowd, he is an individual.
Some students trace their class-bests to the reading rooms, probably to simulate them- hard work! For some, rather than concentrate on the lecturer in the class, they keep watch on the class-bests to see if their secret is in how they listen in class- hard work! Some still, without an obvious need, collect the notes of the class-bests to see if that’s where the mystery lies. Again, that is vain hard work! These steps might give up some tips though, but what is a spoon of sand from the seashore. Diligence is sitting down the class-bests and asking them, “How do you do it?” From whatever they say, you can point out some fundamentals which you can now personalize. You make those fundamentals the bedrock upon which you build, you own way. This does not leave room for laziness as diligence is by standard, thorough, in fact, very thorough.

Round 3- The Mirror Check
On the average every lady has a mirror, at least, in her room. “Why”, an average guy wonders? Ladies generally, do a self-check before leaving the home and as occasion permits outside, a re-check might just be a much-needed miracle. These checks help a lady to assess her dressing and more importantly, her make-up. She needs to see if the eye-liner is perfectly curved. She needs to be sure the powder is evenly lavished on her face. She’s got to ascertain the mascara is at its best. She has to verify the lip stick is just fine. She has to be certain her hair is still gorgeous, and so on.
These checks enable the lady to do the proper adjustments and if time permits, she will ensure everything is perfect before she leaves home. This helps the lady to walk head-up she is when she goes out. Such a lady will ignore every condescending look or remark because she just checked the mirror. On the contrary, a lady who couldn’t check the mirror before leaving the home suspects every look and remark, however nice.
Hard working students just dress up; diligent students ensure they check the mirror after dressing up. A diligent student appraises what he has achieved after every reading session because that is what counts. But a hard working student is more concerned about how long he has spent reading and how far he has gone in the topics. A diligent student stops once in a while and asks himself, “What can I deduce from what I’ve been reading?” He browses past questions to fetch to fetch questions that bother on the topic he is studying. He sees himself as in the exam hall, plays the role of the examiner and scores himself in the most stringent manner. This helps him to see himself clearly as the examiner would have seen him. With this he can tell what to adjust, where and how. Failing many times time on your own during a self-check prevents you from failing in the hands of your examiner.

Round 4- Representation
One other thing that differentiates geniuses from average students is knowledge representation in the brain. Representation in the brain could be memorization or cramming. Cramming is an attempt to commit something to memory without understanding it. A diligent student is too thorough to be a crammer; but a hard working student is too hasty not to. The thoroughness of a diligent student makes him go beyond reading to understanding and from understanding to memorization. Hard working students are always in a car race. What matters more to them is ‘how far’, not ‘how well’. 

Memorization is often confused with cramming just as diligence is often confused with hard work. A crammer does not seek to understand what his book is saying, he just wants to have it ‘upstairs’. On the other hand, memorization is built on a proper understanding of the subject matter. Cramming is usually forced! It is utilizing the brain under duress. Memorization on the other hand, comes natural. It comes in place, having spent enough time to study again and again to the point of understanding.
A hard working student successfully crams the formula, but he cannot solve a problem with it in the exam hall because he does not even understand the formula. A diligent student however can solve all the problems because even if he forgets the formula, he can derive it.

Knowledge is not glued to the brain, it is stored in it. This is why the manner of storage (representation) is of high importance. Cramming makes the hard worker’s brain a jumble of data while memorization stores information in an orderly manner. Because forgetting is a natural phenomenon to both geniuses and dullards; remembering is easier for diligent students than for crammers. Or who will find a dress she bought last year faster: the lady with a neatly arranged wardrobe, or the one that heaps unfolded clothes haphazardly?

Long live Bachelors

Every man should get married some time; after all, happiness is not the only thing in life!!
--Anonymous
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Bachelors should be heavily taxed. It is not fair that some men shouldbe happier than others.
--Oscar Wilde
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Don't marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper.
--Scottish Proverb
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I don't worry about terrorism. I was marriedfortwo years.
--Sam Kinison
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Men have a better time than women; for one thing, they marry later; foranother thing, they die earlier.--H. L. Mencken
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When a newly married couple smiles, everyone knowswhy. When a ten-year married couple smiles, everyonewonders why.
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Love is blind but marriage is an eye-opener.
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When a man opens the door of his car for his wife,you can be sure ofone thing: either the car is new or the wife.
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I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back to home always.
--Anonymous
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I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for ouranniversary? " She said,"Somewhere I have never been!" I told her,"How about the kitchen?"
--Anonymous
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We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
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My wife was in beauty saloon for two hours.That was only for the estimate.
--Anonymous
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She got a mudpack and looked great for two days. Thenthe mud fell off.
--Anonymous
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She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I toolate for the garbage?"Following her down the street I yelled, "No, jump in."
--Anonymous
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Badd Teddy recently explained to me why he refusesto get to married.He says "the wedding rings look like minaturehandcuffs... .."
--Anonymous------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---

If your dog is barking at the back door and yourwife yelling at the frontdoor, who do you let in first? The Dog of course... at least he'll shut up after ulet him in!
--Anonymous
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A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearlyparted mother and started back toward his car when his attention was diverted to another man kneeling at a grave. The man seemed to bepraying with profound intensity and kept repeating, 'Why did u have todie? Why did you have to die?" The first man approached him and said, "Sir,Idon't wish to interfere with your private grief, but this demonstration of pain in ismore than I've ever seen before. For whom do you mourn so? Deeply? Achild? A parent?"The mourner took a moment to collect himself, thenreplied "My wife's first husband."
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A couple came upon a wishing well. The husbandleaned over, made a wish and threw in a coin .The wife decided to make a wish, too. But she leanedover too much, fellinto the well, and drowned. The husband was stunnedfor a while but thensmiled "It really works ! "

7 Moves That Will Make You a Better Dad

Tips for raising happy, well-adjusted kids.

By Craig Playstead

1. Dig deeper.

A nice house, cool clothes, and grub on the table just aren't enough. Providing for our kids is in our DNA, but how well do you know yours? Do you know who your kids play with at recess? What subject they really struggle with? What they love to eat for hot lunch? If you don't know these things, you need to. While all of us are busy as hell with work and everything else in our lives, we need to make time for our kids and get to really know them -- especially the odd, everyday things that make them tick. I make it a point to talk with my kids about what happened at recess before asking about what happened in class. I want to know about the relationships they're forging, and also what they're up to with their only free time of the day. It's not easy to get this from them. But here's a fun way to spend a little time with them that they'll think is awesome: When your son or daughter is standing at the bus stop ready to be picked up for school, drive up, stop, and tell them to get in. Kidnap them for breakfast and they'll think it's the coolest thing ever. When kids are really impressed or excited by something (like this) there's a much better chance of them opening up and telling you about their lives. Don't preach, don't gasp, just listen.

2. Teach your kids to stand tall.

One of the most important things a father needs to teach his kids is how to stand up for themselves. You will not get far in this world if you become a doormat, and the longer you let it happen, the harder it is to turn it around. This can be anything from just learning how to speak up in class, or confronting someone who's being unfair to them. Our offspring need to be heard, defend what they believe in, and not be bullied. Yes, we want them to be nice and to treat people well, but there is also a time to be assertive instead of like a punching bag. Teaching them how to do all this in a scary world is one of the basic duties of being a father.

3. Get off your rear.

While we may be proud of our lecturing skills, most of the time when we talk all our kids hear is, "Blah, blah, blah." So that makes our actions even more important. You can tell the kids that it's important to be healthy and active, but if all they ever see you do is sit on the coach shoveling Doritos into your mouth as you watch "Celebrity Rehab," they're going to do the exact same thing. Kids should always be learning, exploring and trying new things. It's all part of how they find out what they're passionate about and who they are.Dads can help fuel this exploration by doing the same thing; getting involved in new sports, musical instruments, and activities. This keeps dads fresh and active, and also shows kids that it's cool to try new things. Want to crank up the enthusiasm? Get junior's buddy and his dad in the game too -- kids will do almost anything if their friends are involved. If you want to start golfing, make it a foursome and it'll be even more fun.

4. Prepare for your death.

This should be something that I shouldn't even have to write, but it's amazing how many men skip this to save a buck. We can all sit here and think that it's not going to happen to us, but death happens to dads every day. Protecting your family should be number-one on your responsibilities list as a father. If you're not taking care of your family you run the risk of ruining their lives if the worst should happen. This encompasses a lot, including having a life insurance policy and a will, and knowing who's going to be there to teach your son about being a man. Another aspect of this is keeping yourself healthy with regular physicals and, for God's sake, exercise. I used to work out to look better, but now it's all about longevity. My ultimate goal is to live long enough to make sure my daughter doesn't marry some jackass. They don't say "hope for the best and prepare for the worst" for nothing.

5. No worshipping heroes.

There are parents out there who absolutely worship their kids and think they can do no wrong. But those kids will grow up with a distorted view of how the world works. Every parent should love the hell out of their children, but thinking that they are flawless is setting all of you up for disaster. The kids end up with unreal expectations on how the world works, don't understand defeat, and can't figure out why everyone doesn't think they walk on water. And the parents end up devastated when you finally come to the realization that little Tony actually is capable of throwing his classmate into the girls' bathroom or stealing the neighbor's mail. We all have flaws, and there's nothing wrong with that. Let them learn to deal with the disappointment of losing, and even the brilliance of constructive criticism. It'll prepare them for the real world.

6. Remember why you married her.

I've said this before, but a lot of people still scratch their head when I do. One of the best (if not the best) things you can do for your kids is to be a good husband to their mother. This can be difficult to do, but it just might be the most important item on the list. We pay so much attention to not screwing up our kids that we sometimes neglect the one relationship that plays the biggest role in the person they turn out to be. And if you're divorced, remember that the way you treat their mother will have an enormous impact. It will help them respect her, and also show them how to deal with challenging relationships as they get older.

7. Imitate Clark W. Griswold.

Clark was on to something when he loaded up the family truckster and headed west to Wally World. A couple times a year, we all need to bust out of that rut that our daily routine puts us in -- and getting out of Dodge is the only cure. It's not just us either; every member of the family needs to get away and put a little adventure back in their life. As painful as the family vacation can be while it's happening (with the constant potty breaks, spilled juice boxes, and annoying comments from the backseat), I run into more adults who claim that vacations were the parts about their childhood that they'll never forget. It doesn't have to be expensive -- you don't have to go far -- you just need to have a family experience to remember, for better or worse.