Adieu

It came, quietly

It slipped, gradually

It goes, finally

Adieu 2009

Tons of goals, unachieved

Lots of missions, unaccomplished

Many a promises, unfulfiled

Adieu 2009

Lots of prayers, more than answered

Lots of health, better than ever

Lots of love, more than more

Adieu 2009

With thanks and praises, we bid you bye

For life and love, with peace and joy

With hopes and dreams, for years to come

Adieu 2009.

CHAPTER TWO- The Dullard Mentality

I once heard the story of an eagle that laid its egg among those of a hen. The hen incubated the eagle's egg alongside hers till they all hatched. The eaglet grew among chicks, ate what they ate, went where they went, spoke the way they spoke, grew as they grew, and did what they did. Each day it looks up and thinks aloud, “I wish I could fly like those strong eagles up there.” But it never knew it could fly - it had the mind of a fowl. That unfortunate eaglet had the body and ability of an eagle but it had the mind of a fowl. A chronic disease, called 'Fowl Mentality', struck it.

This generic disease once ravaged the Israelites at the point of their entrance to Canaan and it was medically described then as 'Grasshopper Mentality'. This epidemic, which has despised every attempt by mankind to nip it in the bud, is today known as the 'Dullard mentality'.
Oh, it sounds strange right? But it is more of a syndrome. Do you like to know the symptoms the patients usually complain? “I'm not smart”. “I'm a dullard”. “I'm an average student.” “I’m a C-student.”

Now you know what the sickness is all about right? But I know someone wants to argue that it is not a sickness after all, it is only normal and it is good to be real. Anyway, one of the definitions a dictionary gave to the word sick is 'mentally affected or weak.' This, at least, buttresses my submission that people suffering from 'Dullard Mentality' are as sick as those in the various health institutions.

That eaglet I talked about was mentally sick. It had everything required to fly except the knowledge that it could, and it never did despite its daily wish to soar. So also have some people unfortunately relegated themselves to the base line of the intelligence pyramid. Although they have the ability of an eagle, they are plagued by their mindset of a fowl. They have everything required to fly except the knowledge that they can, and they never will until they are convinced they can.

There is the general notion that humans don't generally have the same intelligence capacity: While some are said to be geniuses, some excellent, then those that are good, then the average (better put, mediocre) and then the unfortunate dullards. A big question to be answered here is, 'is there any adequate, consistent and all encompassing basis for this classification?'

Culled from 'The Academic god'

The Wise King

In a far away land, there was a beautiful kingdom with a unique rule, which said, "Anyone may become the king, and he will be given all rights to govern the country for 5 years. But after the 5 years, he will be detained, his body will be tied, and he will be thrown away to a remote island, [where the jungle is thick and there are plenty of wild animals and no humans.

The first who came forward said, "OK, I am ready to be the king. And he was a king for 5 years, and enjoyed his position. He threw big parties, went to many beautiful places, married many women, collected many luxurious things and did whatever pleased him.

This went on till one day he woke up, to find soldiers in his palace who said, "We came here under the order of constitution. You were a king for 5 years, and now the time has come when we should seize you and take you to the remote island.

The king knew that this time would come, but had not realized how quickly the time had passed. He had enjoyed himself in the past 5 years but now he had to leave everything, and would be thrown in the very dangerous island. He was very scared but could do nothing and had to accept his destiny with tears in his eyes. The soldiers put the dethroned king in jungle and did not care about what would happen to him. All they heard were the voices of wild animals and the long scream of the former king. And then silence again.

Back in the kingdom, the constitution was still effective. And now, there was a 2nd king. He too behaved like the 1st king, enjoying an extravagant life, and was faced with the same fate, till the voice of wild animals mixed with his scream was heard after he was thrown in the island. This went on for a long time, with each person becoming King, and following their predecessors. Laugh in the beginning, and cry in the end.

One day, a young man came and declared his wish to be a King. By constitution he was granted his wish. He would be a king for 5 years before being thrown away to the island. But he being wise realized that his time was short, and all luxuries and power would come to an end.

So after much thinking, he decided that he will use all of his power, resources, time etc, to prepare his life at the remote island. In the 1st year he sent troops, veterinarians, and animal trainers to the dangerous island. The mission was to control the population of wild animals there or domesticate them for good use.

Well the mission was so huge that it consumed a lot of the country's resources. But it was the king's decision and he had the power. So, all resources that had been used by previous kings to have fun, now was used by the new king in this strange mission. He really dedicated all of his energy to the mission which became successful.

In the 2nd year, he sent a lot of farmers to the island to start agriculture there. In the 3rd year, he made a lot of facilities on the island - from electricity to a hospital. In the 4th year, he sent a lot of educated people like engineers, accountants, and many others to the island. In the 5th year, he sent his friends and his relatives to the island. And finally the time came when the king had to be thrown away to the island. In the morning of the big day, the king smiled his widest smile ever in 5 years. When many strong soldiers caught and roped him, his smile grew wider. And finally he laughed a great laugh when the soldiers threw him to the island.

Now, why wouldn't he laugh? While the previous kings found a thick jungle and many wild animals when they were thrown there, the last king found everything he needed for a comfortable and happy life with his dear ones.

So many people are tricked by their life in employment/the world. All they do in this is have fun, and forget that the time will come when they will face a very different situation. No amount of regrets and pleading can change the situation then.

But the wise, people ensure adequate provisions for their life in retirement, just like the wise king. These people will face the future with a smile, because a pleasant life is awaiting them.

HARD WORK vs. DILIGENCE 2

As I defined in The Academic god, hard work simply means working hard; while diligence is working hard in the right direction. The major difference between the two ‘synonyms’ is the direction factor which hard work might lack.
Every student goes to class. Most students have class notes. Several students have textbooks and other relevant materials for their courses. Many students go to tutorials. Most students have photocopies of past questions (PQ). No student never reads at all throughout the semester. All students prepare for their exams one way or the other. All students go to the examination hall hoping to do well, somehow. All students hope to see a nice pass when the results are released. But not all students pass, several fail. So the question is why do all students sow but not all reap?
It is simply because most students are hard working, and only a few are diligent.
Diligence is sensible perspiration. It is optimum dissipation of energy with cerebral application. Diligence is working smart; hard work is working hard. That is why the results are never a true reflection of who worked hardest! The As are not given to those who read most; the Fs are not given to those who read least.

Round 1- Direction
The first thing that differentiates a diligent student from a hard working one is vision. Vision serves as a guide to those who have it, bringing about a sense of direction. Hard working students concentrate more on their ability than how they apply their ability. They put in all their energy, particularly aiming at nothing; and that is what they get at the end of the day. But when a hard working student adds to his hard work, vision, he shoots high to the sky.


I was once so upset with a classmate when I found out she really never had clearly defined goals. My sermon on this fell on deaf ears. Pity, she said it was like counting one’s chick before they hatch. It pained me particularly because I knew how much she was putting into her academics. We read in the place in the nights in part 3 and she never closed her books before me. I understand she was using me as a source of inspiration on the stage, but she refused to do what I was doing back stage. She would stay in the colds of the night, reading hard, but aiming at nothing. To say the least, her hard work did not improve her performance considerably as much as it would have if she had a target.
It is so good to have academically better students as your mentors. But what you have to learn from them transcends where they read, how long they read, when they read, how they read and all worth not. What you need to know are the fundamental principles they use which you would adopt to suit your personality and nature. Success is personal, same pattern might not work for you! That is why you are a protégé, not a clone.

Round 2- Individuality
Deji Omitogun graduated from Obafemi Awolowo University with a First Class in Management & Accounting. He was also a chartered accountant well before he graduated. But while we were roommates in Part 1, Deji was consistently in bed by 10.00pm, when I was probably just getting ready to go and do my study till the early hours of the next day.
Diligence is defining yourself and working the best way that suits you. “Suits you” does not necessarily mean convenience; it means the best way you work by nature. Thomas Edison could work on for days taking only occasional naps on his office sofa but Albert Einstein would work best after nine solid hours of sleep. A diligent student works most when he works best. He has taken time to discover his best time to read, his best place to read, his best way to read and he sticks to it. A diligent student is not found amidst an ‘undefined’ crowd, he is an individual.
Some students trace their class-bests to the reading rooms, probably to simulate them- hard work! For some, rather than concentrate on the lecturer in the class, they keep watch on the class-bests to see if their secret is in how they listen in class- hard work! Some still, without an obvious need, collect the notes of the class-bests to see if that’s where the mystery lies. Again, that is vain hard work! These steps might give up some tips though, but what is a spoon of sand from the seashore. Diligence is sitting down the class-bests and asking them, “How do you do it?” From whatever they say, you can point out some fundamentals which you can now personalize. You make those fundamentals the bedrock upon which you build, you own way. This does not leave room for laziness as diligence is by standard, thorough, in fact, very thorough.

Round 3- The Mirror Check
On the average every lady has a mirror, at least, in her room. “Why”, an average guy wonders? Ladies generally, do a self-check before leaving the home and as occasion permits outside, a re-check might just be a much-needed miracle. These checks help a lady to assess her dressing and more importantly, her make-up. She needs to see if the eye-liner is perfectly curved. She needs to be sure the powder is evenly lavished on her face. She’s got to ascertain the mascara is at its best. She has to verify the lip stick is just fine. She has to be certain her hair is still gorgeous, and so on.
These checks enable the lady to do the proper adjustments and if time permits, she will ensure everything is perfect before she leaves home. This helps the lady to walk head-up she is when she goes out. Such a lady will ignore every condescending look or remark because she just checked the mirror. On the contrary, a lady who couldn’t check the mirror before leaving the home suspects every look and remark, however nice.
Hard working students just dress up; diligent students ensure they check the mirror after dressing up. A diligent student appraises what he has achieved after every reading session because that is what counts. But a hard working student is more concerned about how long he has spent reading and how far he has gone in the topics. A diligent student stops once in a while and asks himself, “What can I deduce from what I’ve been reading?” He browses past questions to fetch to fetch questions that bother on the topic he is studying. He sees himself as in the exam hall, plays the role of the examiner and scores himself in the most stringent manner. This helps him to see himself clearly as the examiner would have seen him. With this he can tell what to adjust, where and how. Failing many times time on your own during a self-check prevents you from failing in the hands of your examiner.

Round 4- Representation
One other thing that differentiates geniuses from average students is knowledge representation in the brain. Representation in the brain could be memorization or cramming. Cramming is an attempt to commit something to memory without understanding it. A diligent student is too thorough to be a crammer; but a hard working student is too hasty not to. The thoroughness of a diligent student makes him go beyond reading to understanding and from understanding to memorization. Hard working students are always in a car race. What matters more to them is ‘how far’, not ‘how well’. 

Memorization is often confused with cramming just as diligence is often confused with hard work. A crammer does not seek to understand what his book is saying, he just wants to have it ‘upstairs’. On the other hand, memorization is built on a proper understanding of the subject matter. Cramming is usually forced! It is utilizing the brain under duress. Memorization on the other hand, comes natural. It comes in place, having spent enough time to study again and again to the point of understanding.
A hard working student successfully crams the formula, but he cannot solve a problem with it in the exam hall because he does not even understand the formula. A diligent student however can solve all the problems because even if he forgets the formula, he can derive it.

Knowledge is not glued to the brain, it is stored in it. This is why the manner of storage (representation) is of high importance. Cramming makes the hard worker’s brain a jumble of data while memorization stores information in an orderly manner. Because forgetting is a natural phenomenon to both geniuses and dullards; remembering is easier for diligent students than for crammers. Or who will find a dress she bought last year faster: the lady with a neatly arranged wardrobe, or the one that heaps unfolded clothes haphazardly?

Long live Bachelors

Every man should get married some time; after all, happiness is not the only thing in life!!
--Anonymous
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Bachelors should be heavily taxed. It is not fair that some men shouldbe happier than others.
--Oscar Wilde
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Don't marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper.
--Scottish Proverb
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I don't worry about terrorism. I was marriedfortwo years.
--Sam Kinison
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Men have a better time than women; for one thing, they marry later; foranother thing, they die earlier.--H. L. Mencken
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When a newly married couple smiles, everyone knowswhy. When a ten-year married couple smiles, everyonewonders why.
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Love is blind but marriage is an eye-opener.
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When a man opens the door of his car for his wife,you can be sure ofone thing: either the car is new or the wife.
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I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back to home always.
--Anonymous
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I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for ouranniversary? " She said,"Somewhere I have never been!" I told her,"How about the kitchen?"
--Anonymous
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We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
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My wife was in beauty saloon for two hours.That was only for the estimate.
--Anonymous
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She got a mudpack and looked great for two days. Thenthe mud fell off.
--Anonymous
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She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I toolate for the garbage?"Following her down the street I yelled, "No, jump in."
--Anonymous
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Badd Teddy recently explained to me why he refusesto get to married.He says "the wedding rings look like minaturehandcuffs... .."
--Anonymous------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---

If your dog is barking at the back door and yourwife yelling at the frontdoor, who do you let in first? The Dog of course... at least he'll shut up after ulet him in!
--Anonymous
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A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearlyparted mother and started back toward his car when his attention was diverted to another man kneeling at a grave. The man seemed to bepraying with profound intensity and kept repeating, 'Why did u have todie? Why did you have to die?" The first man approached him and said, "Sir,Idon't wish to interfere with your private grief, but this demonstration of pain in ismore than I've ever seen before. For whom do you mourn so? Deeply? Achild? A parent?"The mourner took a moment to collect himself, thenreplied "My wife's first husband."
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A couple came upon a wishing well. The husbandleaned over, made a wish and threw in a coin .The wife decided to make a wish, too. But she leanedover too much, fellinto the well, and drowned. The husband was stunnedfor a while but thensmiled "It really works ! "

7 Moves That Will Make You a Better Dad

Tips for raising happy, well-adjusted kids.

By Craig Playstead

1. Dig deeper.

A nice house, cool clothes, and grub on the table just aren't enough. Providing for our kids is in our DNA, but how well do you know yours? Do you know who your kids play with at recess? What subject they really struggle with? What they love to eat for hot lunch? If you don't know these things, you need to. While all of us are busy as hell with work and everything else in our lives, we need to make time for our kids and get to really know them -- especially the odd, everyday things that make them tick. I make it a point to talk with my kids about what happened at recess before asking about what happened in class. I want to know about the relationships they're forging, and also what they're up to with their only free time of the day. It's not easy to get this from them. But here's a fun way to spend a little time with them that they'll think is awesome: When your son or daughter is standing at the bus stop ready to be picked up for school, drive up, stop, and tell them to get in. Kidnap them for breakfast and they'll think it's the coolest thing ever. When kids are really impressed or excited by something (like this) there's a much better chance of them opening up and telling you about their lives. Don't preach, don't gasp, just listen.

2. Teach your kids to stand tall.

One of the most important things a father needs to teach his kids is how to stand up for themselves. You will not get far in this world if you become a doormat, and the longer you let it happen, the harder it is to turn it around. This can be anything from just learning how to speak up in class, or confronting someone who's being unfair to them. Our offspring need to be heard, defend what they believe in, and not be bullied. Yes, we want them to be nice and to treat people well, but there is also a time to be assertive instead of like a punching bag. Teaching them how to do all this in a scary world is one of the basic duties of being a father.

3. Get off your rear.

While we may be proud of our lecturing skills, most of the time when we talk all our kids hear is, "Blah, blah, blah." So that makes our actions even more important. You can tell the kids that it's important to be healthy and active, but if all they ever see you do is sit on the coach shoveling Doritos into your mouth as you watch "Celebrity Rehab," they're going to do the exact same thing. Kids should always be learning, exploring and trying new things. It's all part of how they find out what they're passionate about and who they are.Dads can help fuel this exploration by doing the same thing; getting involved in new sports, musical instruments, and activities. This keeps dads fresh and active, and also shows kids that it's cool to try new things. Want to crank up the enthusiasm? Get junior's buddy and his dad in the game too -- kids will do almost anything if their friends are involved. If you want to start golfing, make it a foursome and it'll be even more fun.

4. Prepare for your death.

This should be something that I shouldn't even have to write, but it's amazing how many men skip this to save a buck. We can all sit here and think that it's not going to happen to us, but death happens to dads every day. Protecting your family should be number-one on your responsibilities list as a father. If you're not taking care of your family you run the risk of ruining their lives if the worst should happen. This encompasses a lot, including having a life insurance policy and a will, and knowing who's going to be there to teach your son about being a man. Another aspect of this is keeping yourself healthy with regular physicals and, for God's sake, exercise. I used to work out to look better, but now it's all about longevity. My ultimate goal is to live long enough to make sure my daughter doesn't marry some jackass. They don't say "hope for the best and prepare for the worst" for nothing.

5. No worshipping heroes.

There are parents out there who absolutely worship their kids and think they can do no wrong. But those kids will grow up with a distorted view of how the world works. Every parent should love the hell out of their children, but thinking that they are flawless is setting all of you up for disaster. The kids end up with unreal expectations on how the world works, don't understand defeat, and can't figure out why everyone doesn't think they walk on water. And the parents end up devastated when you finally come to the realization that little Tony actually is capable of throwing his classmate into the girls' bathroom or stealing the neighbor's mail. We all have flaws, and there's nothing wrong with that. Let them learn to deal with the disappointment of losing, and even the brilliance of constructive criticism. It'll prepare them for the real world.

6. Remember why you married her.

I've said this before, but a lot of people still scratch their head when I do. One of the best (if not the best) things you can do for your kids is to be a good husband to their mother. This can be difficult to do, but it just might be the most important item on the list. We pay so much attention to not screwing up our kids that we sometimes neglect the one relationship that plays the biggest role in the person they turn out to be. And if you're divorced, remember that the way you treat their mother will have an enormous impact. It will help them respect her, and also show them how to deal with challenging relationships as they get older.

7. Imitate Clark W. Griswold.

Clark was on to something when he loaded up the family truckster and headed west to Wally World. A couple times a year, we all need to bust out of that rut that our daily routine puts us in -- and getting out of Dodge is the only cure. It's not just us either; every member of the family needs to get away and put a little adventure back in their life. As painful as the family vacation can be while it's happening (with the constant potty breaks, spilled juice boxes, and annoying comments from the backseat), I run into more adults who claim that vacations were the parts about their childhood that they'll never forget. It doesn't have to be expensive -- you don't have to go far -- you just need to have a family experience to remember, for better or worse.

Crucial Characteristics of Lasting Love

Crucial Characteristics of Lasting Love


By Dee Anne Merriman




First comes that split second of physical attraction. Next, that thrilling feeling of chemistry. But when the veil of romance starts to lift, what's life really like off the dance floor?

Too often, love is blind
When Jenny and Michael met, they were instantly attracted to each other. Those electrifying sparks started flying. In an exciting whirlwind of parties and romantic dates, they swept each other off their feet. They decided to get married and live happily ever after. Years later the hormones had calmed down (and so had the fireworks). When the smoke cleared, the mismatches started to emerge. Her passion to shop and his questionable money decisions created constant financial stress. He liked to hang with the guys at the bar. She loved to go to the theater with friends. They disagreed on children and family values, especially religion. Communication broke down. Eventually, they grew apart.

Sound familiar? A physical and chemical match is essential at the start, but the excitement of a budding new romance eventually wears off. Making thoughtful dating decisions can mean the difference between revolving relationships and finding lasting love.

Dating experts outline seven match areas to consider:

Physical appearance
While physical appearance and attraction draw two people together at first, these aspects will affect the rest of their lives. If working out and staying fit is important to you, will it bum you out if your mate doesn't share your quest for rock-hard abs?


Emotional maturity
Is this person emotionally mature and centered or still lugging around some trunk-sized baggage? How does your sweetheart relate to family and friends? Is he or she emotionally supportive or have control issues? Is your mate aware of his or her own issues and interested in addressing them?


Lifestyle choices
This includes career and social lives, common interests, leisure time activities and energy levels. Would she rather join the bowling league or the metropolitan symphony? Does he have lots of energy for activities with friends while she'd rather rest and chill out at home?


Financial style
This is a hot bed for most couples. It includes income levels, financial goals and views on handling money. How do you each want to spend, save and invest? Is one person a spender while the other saves? Is one person financially responsible while the other plays catch-up with child support and bills?


Value structure
This match area is often overlooked but has a tremendous impact on your life. It includes the big values: Honesty, integrity, loyalty, views on family and children, religion and spirituality, life goals and the treatment and care for others. Does your mate follow through on her word? Would you say he's trustworthy? Will she always be there for you in a pinch?


Marriage and sex
Everyone does not share the same idea of marriage. The big questions to address are: What do you and your mate expect from marriage and sex? Is he or she looking for a soul mate? Do you both want close intimacy in friendship, communication and sex?


Intelligence
Having similar education levels increases your chances of sharing matching school and social experiences, intellectual interests and career goals. What topics do you and your honey like to talk about? Conversation limited to sports or shopping may get boring to someone who likes to ponder philosophy and bluster about business.
While you don't have to match exactly in each area, look at the big picture and make sure you match closely enough in the important areas of your life.

HOW I FARED...

For all my friends that follow my blog, i set some targets for myself last year and promised to do a public appraisal this year. Well, here we are:

Please find below the candid assessment of how i fared, not too good, if i may say!

- Start working DONE

- Do my PG study NOT DONE

- Get engaged to my Miss World HMMM, DONE KINDA

- Publish my 2nd book NOT DONE

- Do at least a seminar in a month PARTLY DONE

- Become a millionaire... FAR FROM IT


Well, success is never-ending; failure is never final! All the stuffs undone last year are automatically priority this year (read my lips) while fresh goals for this year will be rolled out soon.

Watch out!

WELCOME 2009

Hey folks, it's right here with us- 2009!

Funny enough, it's no more as fresh as i make it sound, sixteen whole days have drifted by; could that still be new?

Folks, 2008 is gone, forever! We all had certain things we should have done in that dead year!!!!!! But we never did. Those we shall never again be able to accomplish in 2008. But thank God another chance is here to right the wrongs- 2009.

This is my perspective of another year; IT IS ANOTHER CHANCE, so take it and run with it.

As promised last year, i will be doing a run-down of my goals for 2008 and i will be frank to admit all failures, hoping my success will be cellebrated in due course. I will do the assessment in my next post, soon! So don't go far.

For now, i wish you a successful year this yeear. A year you will set God-ordained goals and achieve them all. A year you willtake all your chances and do all the unimaginables. A year of great harvest.

Adeyemi.