Attitude

Author, James Adonis

In the magnificent musical My Fair Lady, Eliza Doolittle is a poor girl with a ghastly accent and a terrible grasp of the English language who sells flowers on the streets for a living.  She meets Henry Higgins, a professor of phonetics, who makes a bet with a man named Colonel Pickering that he can turn the rough Eliza into a high-society lady of proper behavior.

During the next six months, Professor Higgins tries to teach Eliza how to speak and how to act – but his teaching style is abrasive.  He yells and insults her, calling her “infantile”, “brainless”, “wretched” and a “presumptuous insect”.  In contrast, Colonel Pickering, who’s present during the lessons, treats Eliza with kindness and compassion, with politeness and respect.  He expects the best irrespective of her background.

Eventually, Eliza nails it.  She becomes a lady admired by all, including the king and queen.  Of course, Professor Higgins takes the credit for the transformation.  But, as Eliza explains, the credit actually belongs to Colonel Pickering:

“The difference between a lady and a flower girl is not how she behaves but how she's treated.  I shall always be a flower girl to Professor Higgins because he always treats me as a flower girl, and always will.  But I know I shall always be a lady to Colonel Pickering because he always treats me as a lady, and always will.”

That story is a famous example of The Pygmalion Effect, which means people’s attitudes are often influenced by what their leader or teacher expects.  If a leader or teacher truly believes that every employee and student can be brilliant, then empirical research demonstrates that chances of behavioural change are substantially higher.

This research, pioneered by Dr Robert Rosenthal (a social scientist), revealed four key elements of The Pygmalion Effect, all of which are evident in the workplace.

Climate:   This represents mood.  If you’re like Professor Higgins, you’ll avoid eye contact, rarely smile or nod, and use condescending phrases.  But if you’re like Colonel Pickering, you’ll be genuinely focused, using positive words and open body language.

Input:   This represents information.  If you’re like Professor Higgins, you’ll share minimal knowledge to those you deem no-hopers and plenty to those you favour.  But if you’re like Colonel Pickering, everyone benefits from your teaching, clear instructions, and resources.

Output:   This represents responsiveness.  If you’re like Professor Higgins, you’ll provide opportunities only to those you admire.  But if you’re like Colonel Pickering, all employees have a chance to ask questions, to get involved, and to express what they think and feel.

Feedback:   This represents quantity and quality.  If you’re like Professor Higgins, you sparingly give praise unless it’s to someone you already respect.  But if you’re like Colonel Pickering, everyone is entitled to detailed feedback with fair amounts of praise and criticism.

You undoubtedly have expectations of the people in your team.  Those expectations subconsciously influence how you interact with them, and these interactions subsequently impact your employees’ behaviour and performance.  That’s why it’s so common for an employee’s attitude to be affected more by a leader’s attitude than anything else.

Two Coaches

"Success on any major scale requires you to accept responsibility . . . . In the final analysis, the one quality that all successful people have is the ability to take on responsibility."

— Michael Korda
Editor-in-Chief, Simon & Schuster

I love football (and of course, basketball). I love it when a team plays entertaining football and of course, winning always leaves you with a cool feeling when it’s your team.

Coaches are certainly an important part of the game that we do not see so much of during the game like the players; except of course those that gymnastically gesticulate with as much vigor as the boys kicking the ball around. But because pressmen know how much a coach matters to the team they always try to get their opinion after each game. And many times, before the game.

I have listened to a number of post-game comments and I can classify what most coaches have to say after a defeat into two groups: One of them generally goes “…the boys refused to play according to instructions… and what you saw today is what happens when that occurs”. And the other, “we had a very bad day here today, we just couldn’t get ourselves right... we will go back to the drawing board and…”

The former coach is clearly letting us know that he knows his job and did it but the players were just stupid! The latter coach is saying we know our job but we didn’t seem to have done it well! The former coach is simply showing he is so good that all fingers should be pointed to the players while the latter is saying if anyone must die, kill me first.

No single raindrop believes it is responsible for the flood.

Many a time, we all behave like the blame-shifting coach who wants to appear to have perfectly played his role. “I am the coach and not the player.” We don’t want a share of the blame, “it was him- he completely jeopardized the team’s effort.” Worse still, we point fingers at our subordinates- those we are supposed to be leading. How silly!

When a leader shifts the blame to the follower he is simply saying “I’m not truly the leader, someone else is!” The coach that claims publicly his players didn’t play according to instruction is simply saying “I have no control over those boys; I ask them to do A, but they do B- I’m not in charge. I’m just a figure head!”

Leaders do not come out shifting the blame to their subordinates; they take responsibility for whatever happened. They accept the blame on behalf of the team even if they had played their role pretty well. Great leaders know this: the team wins together and losses together. When the coach says “we had a bad day”, he means “I led them and I led them wrong, I am the leader and I am at fault.” Great teams go directly at one another inside; but outside, they are a team.

I remember making a big blunder during my last full time job; I mean a big blunder. I played into the hands of a General Manager who was three positions (about 5-10 years work experience) above my direct boss. While the last I heard about that was when the General Manager made me realize I messed up, I know my boss had taken most and all of the heat. He may have even been tongue-lashed in the next management meeting for negligence but he kept all that away from me- maybe because he knew I realized the gravity of what I did. I respect you, Habila Amos!

The cool thing about the coaches that accept/share the blame for/with their team is that when it’s praise time they shower it –almost completely– on the team. When they are interviewed after a victory you hear things like “we all did our homework pretty well, the boys gave their all…” But our dear blame-shifter has just one same phrase too, however, in the opposite direction this time- “the boys strictly followed instruction and you can see the result for yourself.” Huh, infallible ultimate warrior!

Whenever we did great jobs for Habila that precipitated commendations from his bosses, we would always get the commendation forwarded to us and he tells you, “you did it, it’s your job.” Even in meetings he would not cease to sing your praise; men, that was an incentive to work harder! But he is never going to vilify you openly when you do wrong- that’s a private business.

So evaluate the kind of leader you have been? Are you taking responsibility or are you always denouncing your leadership when things go wrong? What kind of leader do you want to be? Is it the coach that points his finger outward when it’s bad and inward when it’s great? Or is it the coach that shares both the good and bad?

Yahoo! I just saw some grate examples of how we all play these coaches in Blame Shifter: Spineless Cousins of Shapelifters (http://www.selfhelpdaily.com/blame-shifting-blame-shifters/):

·         They spill a drink down the front of their top…. the server filled it too dang high!

·         They can’t afford something they’d like to have…. Obama! Bush! War! Wife!

·         A bad day at the office means that their co-workers are “losers” and the boss is a “jerk.”

·         A college exam didn’t go as well as hoped for…. stupid test!

·         Someone’s weight is out of control… it’s everyone’s fault except the one with the fork in their hand.

·         Their kids misbehave and/or talk back….  it’s all thanks to the school system, television, and the music they listen to.

Try Ignorance

Imagine how many people were killed!

There was this case in Kenyatta National Hospital Intensive Care ward
where patients always died in the same bed on Sunday morning at 11am,
regardless of their medical condition.

This puzzled the doctors and some even thought that it had something
to do with the supernatural no one could solve the mystery.... as to
Why the death at 11.00AM.

So a world-wide expert team was constituted and they decided to go
down to the ward to investigate the cause of the incidents. So on the
next Sunday morning few minutes before 11am, all doctors and nurses
nervously wait outside the ward to see for themselves what the
terrible phenomenon was all about.

Some were holding wooden crosses, prayer, books and their
Objects to ward off the evil.....Just when the clock struck
11......Guess what happened...... Mukhobero Wepukhulu, the part-time
Sunday sweeper entered the ward and unplugged the life support system
so that he could use the socket for the vacuum cleaner.

If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.